


Moth To A Flame

by Soul4Sale



Category: Until Dawn (Video Game)
Genre: AU - Canon Divergence, Chris POV, Depression, Established Relationship, Gay, Josh Survives AU, M/M, Post-Canon, Schizophrenia, Slash, Yaoi, canon character death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-25
Updated: 2015-11-11
Packaged: 2018-04-23 09:04:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 3,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4871065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Soul4Sale/pseuds/Soul4Sale
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thinking back on it, now, it’s no wonder I fell for Josh like a moth guided to a flame. I didn’t care if my wings burnt, I just wanted to be close to his light.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Peppered Moth - Concealment

**Author's Note:**

> So, I had this idea that a vaguely logical place to take the story from Butterfly Effect to an after-sort-of-thing was a Moth. The Moth as a totem brings several things to the party, and so I decided to do these nine things based on the “spiritual properties” of the moth. I hope you guys enjoy these. I know I’m excited for them.

The best days are when Josh is genuinely happy, when he plays with Buddy with all of the vim and vigor he can muster, and the two pass out on the couch. He’s a master at disguising when things are wrong, though, he has been for a while. Sometimes, I can catch him. Other times, he lets it go until it’s almost too late to fix. He wears that same easy-going smile even when his heart is bleeding, and the bags under his eyes are nothing to worry about; he’s always tired, no matter how much he sleeps. Jokes come so easily to him that they’re like extensions of his grin, and he can produce conversation from thin air to fill in the gaps.

I know when he’s upset, though. I’ve learned, after two years together, that when Buddy is glued to his side and won’t leave him be, then I need to sit him down and make him talk to me. Sometimes, though, his facade falls when he gazes out the sliding door at the balcony, down at the volleyball court, and he heaves a big sigh. He tells me nothing is wrong, but his smile doesn’t meet his eyes, and I know he’s faking.

But he fooled all of us, off his medication, even, two years ago. He’s the best master of disguise I’ve ever seen.

Even at Matt and Sam’s engagement party, he put on the grandest show of being excited for his friends, though I knew earlier in the day he’d been unable to stop crying. At Jess’ baby shower, he’d grinned and joked and pretended to hold her belly like Rafiki from the Lion King, making a show of singing ‘Circle of Life’ with a plastered Mike and Ashley. He’d secretly worried over the state of this child for three hours before, but if anyone could plaster a blinding smile on his face, it was Josh.

Even now, he’s gazing out the kitchen window, watching fluffy white snow falling slowly to the ground, holding a cup of tea. He sighs softly, occasionally reaching down to pet the dog glued to his leg, occasionally rising to his back legs to get these pets. A fond look crosses his face and I can’t stop myself from slipping up behind him and hugging him tight around the waist, kissing his cheek.

“What’s wrong, babe?” I whisper into his ear, resting my head on his shoulder.

“It’s supposed to be raining, not snowing.” He replies quietly, as though he’s afraid his voice might shatter the moment around us.

“Well, maybe you’ll get your frozen lake to skate on tomorrow. It’s supposed to be at this all night.” I offer, kissing him again, and he turns so that I sloppily catch his lips. “Tomorrow we can go do whatever you want. For now, why don’t we go lay down and watch some TV? I bet there’s a new episode of SVU.” I waggle my eyebrows and he gives me a genuine, if not small, chuckle. 

“Alright, alright. Let’s go get comfortable.”

With him wrapped up in my arms, head pillowed on my chest like we always used to, everything feels like it’s right. Even with the beagle lying nearly in his asscrack, all he can do is throw jokes about ‘Dick Wolf’ as the newest episode of Law and Order displays over the TV. I pull a blanket over all three of us and smile as we settle in for our favorite show Josh’s tea abandoned on the kitchen table.


	2. Isabela Tiger Moth - Determination

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josh is the sweetest guy, but he has a competitive streak a mile wide.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, these are really, really fun. I’ve got a dog on my butt as I write this, he always has to sit with me when I’m on the bed. xD I love him, though. Anyway, as for this, I’ve found that I like the idea of Matt and Sam together for some reason? I have no idea why, but I think they’d be good for each other.

I love seeing him like this. Shouting obscenities at the television, a fire in his eyes as he, Matt and Mike sat around the television. Mario Party seems to be a pretty good excuse for the three of them to compete to prove which one’s the best, even if I figure it’s mostly a luck of the draw sort of thing. 

“Chris, did you see that? I totally just creamed them both at that mini game!” He yells excitedly, turning those amazingly green eyes on me and I give him a fond smile, having glanced up from my phone to make it seem like I wasn’t watching.

“Yeah, man, that was cool.” The put-out pout I get in response makes me grin and I lean back a little more into the cuddle puddle I’ve got going with Sam and Jess. I lay between them, their legs over mine as they lean against the armrests of the couch, and my phone is safely pressed into my palm while we watch the boys play.

“It’s just a silly game, Mike, you don’t need to get so worked up.” Jess offered from her spot, and I smile when Josh just beams at me. 

“Yeah, Mike. Don’t matter that you’re getting your ass kicked.” He teased, and I can tell he’s getting a bit manic in his success. Slowly rising from the couch, pushing the girls off of me and finding their legs right back where I’d been sitting, I move over to lean against his back.

“Why don’t you be a little nicer? Let him win for a change.” I’m kissing the back of his neck, and while Mike always cringes, he seems thankful for the distraction during his turn. Even still, it seems that my loving boyfriend has no intention of losing because of me, and the next mini game is dominated by him, once more.

“This game is rigged, man.” Matt gently sets the Wiimote down, while Mike is tossing it carelessly on the table.

“I’m gonna get a snack. Fuck this game.” He says, shaking his head as Jess rushes after him to be sure he’s alright.

It’s then that Josh turns his eyes back on me.

“You wanna play?”


	3. Codling Moth - Vulnerability

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Whenever he has nightmares about his sisters, I’m always there to comfort him or wake him up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I’m writing this between taking dogs out for walks and potty breaks. xD We washed and trimmed nails and hair on the boys, and they’re unhappy, so they’ll be happy to go on a walk. I’m really excited to write a Buddy and Josh story, I might make a little one-shot about him and Chris taking care of him. ouo I think it would be fun and really sweet. Anyway, here’s the third part of this, I hope you guys enjoy!

I always wake up an hour or two before Josh does, sometimes I just lay there and let him hold me until either I can’t stay still any longer or he wakes up. He’s such a cuddler when he sleeps, if I want to lay with him again, all I have to do is nudge against him and he’ll hold me again. Other times, however, he whines and thrashes and hiccups in his sleep, and that always means only one thing.

Hearing the telltale signs as I work on my homework on the desk across from the bed, I rise easily and drop onto the bed kissing his lips gently.

“Josh.” I whisper, “Josh, hey. Are you, Josh, hey, wake up, Josh, are you okay?” I question, shaking him slightly, and I’ve got him by the face in a second as his eyes blearily blink open and he looks at me with a bit of a half-dead expression. He gives me a little ‘mhm’ before slipping back into sleep, only to scrunch up his face again. Shaking my head, I grip his shoulders and pull him up into a sitting position against my chest.

“Huh? Wha…?” He blinks again, looking lost and more than a little dazed, “Chris?”

“You were having another nightmare, babe.” I tell him, and he nods slowly as I see that dullness in his eyes replaced with tears and he sinks forward, hugging me tight and digging his face into my chest. 

“I h-had another dream about the girls.” I know immediately what he’s talking about and begin to rub his back.

“Do you want to talk about it?” I question, and he nods slowly, sniffling and rubbing at his face with his hands.

“I… B-beth was… It was their birthday.” He began with a frown, shaking his head slightly as he sniffed a little more, resting his head in his hands, “And they kept saying ‘Josh, come on!’ like I wasn’t ready for cake or something… And when I got in there, they were dead.” His voice is shaking, and I reach down to brush a tear from his cheek. “They just kept staring at me with these big, gaping eyes, and then… They tried to grab me.” 

Gently pulling him into my lap, I hold him close and kiss his cheeks, peppering his face, neck and shoulders with kisses. Slowly, he begins to relax into me, and finally he seems drowsy enough for sleep.

“I love you.” He mumbled, wiping his eyes as a yawn forces the last of the liquid from his eyes.

“I love you, too.” I remind him, kissing his forehead as I tuck him in and move to lay with him. He nestles up against me, and I settle in for a long morning.


	4. Ailanthus Moth - Attraction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things had always been heavy between us; there was gravity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp… I feel sick but I don’t want to sleep, so here’s another chapter of this. xD I’m really kind of pumped on this story. I guess I’m excited to get it finished. Plus, these are really sweet, easy to write, and usually have a happyish ending. Josh deserves it. I’m such climbing class trash. Dx Woops. Anyway, here’s this next part. oUo I hope you guys like!

There had always been a level of heaviness to our relationship. We had always been fairly free with affection, especially as we grew older. Josh had always been a snuggle bug, and we’d never really thought twice about sharing a bed during sleepovers, or what it could imply. In fact, we’d always been pulled towards each other, no matter what it was. Ever since that day in the third grade, we’d been locked to each other. When Josh came up with a crush on Sam, I couldn’t understand why I was so disappointed. I invented a crush on Ashley almost immediately to cover up my feeling and I began to believe my own lie. 

I was finally able to tell the truth that night, after we were rescued from Blackwood. Josh was nestled nearly in my lap, wrapped up in both of our thin blankets, with his head pillowed on my chest. The heat on my cheeks must have been obvious because Mike had been about to say something, but Jess elbowed him to get him to shut up.

“Chris…?” Josh’s voice was small, somewhat strained and distant. “I love you, man.”

Of course, he did. I managed to save him from Hannah -- Oh, God, I still can’t believe what happened -- and I’d kissed him. Kissed him right then and there, senseless, as soon as we were somewhat safe. We’d managed to get back to the lodge in time to be rescued, but he hadn’t left my side the whole time.

“I love you, too, Josh. So much.” I reply, and it’s like a huge weight is lifted from my chest, “I’ll protect you. You can come stay with me for a while, if you want.” The words kept leaving my mouth, but he only cuddled into me more as I spoke. 

“I’d like that.” He murmured, and I rubbed his back to help coax him into sleep.

It was at that point that I realized I’d always been attracted to Josh, and like a moth to a flame, I didn’t care if I got burned.

He shakes me from this thought with a shout from the kitchen, and I reply with a dumb, “Huh?”

“Can you bring me your dishes?” He asks again, chuckling a little at my spacy attitude. I grab up the dog’s bowl from the floor, and gather the dishes from popcorn and pizza on the coffee table. Walking around the couch and to the kitchen seems to take forever, and as I slip the plates into the soapy water his hands are swishing around in, I kiss his cheek. He turns his head and I automatically find his lips, and even when he starts to pull back I follow him. I feel my cheeks heat up all the way to my ears, and he just chuckles as he gives me one last kiss and slaps my ass with a wet, soapy hand.

“Go get ready for bed, cochise, I’ve got a surprise for you.” Just the promise is enough to send me off with minor complaints about my soaked pants as I head to get ready for him.


	5. Muslin Moth - Subtlety

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just as Josh can be loud and shameless, he can be subtle and sneaky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I keep writing these up while waiting at therapy on Mondays. xD It’s a really good time for me to focus and write on paper. It also gives me something to do while I wait on Todd or while we wait because we always show up early. I hope you guys are excited for the next installments, I know I am! I plan on posting these in threes to get them out faster. Enjoy!

I feel the warmth of his hand on my thigh before I even realize he had moved. His hand lands close to my knee, sliding up to my hip, and then down about halfway down my leg. I throw a careful glance around the table to see if anyone has noticed, but even Jessica seems more focused on the conversation, and Matt and Mike are craning their necks to try and hear what the television behind the bar is saying. We’re all out on a little date to a restaurant, a kind of friendly thing we set up (and by ‘we’, I mean the girls and myself), and it’s supposed to be a time for us all to get together and talk about our week. Of course, with the game on, it’s damn near impossible.

My smile is soft and fond, sort of mimicking Josh’s, as I lace our fingers together beneath the table, taking another bite of my dinner with my other hand. He’s so close to grinning that it’s not even funny, but he somehow bites back the need and just gives me a dopey smile. I love the way only I can read him at times like this, even when he turns his eyes back to the hockey game on TV and his thumb caresses my hand.

“Can you believe these boys?” Jessica laughs, shaking her head as she takes another sip of tea from her mug.

“No, I can’t.” I reply with a chuckle, leaning against Josh and receiving a peck to my forehead. “Sure can’t.”


	6. Luna Moth - Intuition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He works from his gut, and it never did us wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here’s the last one for today. I ended up not getting these typed and posted until today (two days later yikes), but here they are, at last. I also want to start something for my friend, but I dunno when that will be done. Soon, I hope.

“I don’t think we should walk Buddy down that path.” Josh told me, once, leaning against my side as we walked. I didn’t listen, telling him it was the shortest path back to the car through the park, and he cried when we had to pull stickers out of the Pocket Beagle’s paws. From then on, I usually followed Josh’s instincts, and it kept us safe.

Even now, with both of my boys passed out in bed beside me, Josh’s arm around my middle, all I can think of is how he saved me from a stranger a few days ago. He really has the best senses, when he takes his meds. I heard someone went missing on the local news, and he looked me in the eye and told that that would _never_ be me. It almost was, had he not come along and whisked me away from the man who was trying to sell me a new car. I had been mad, at first, but once he’d explained himself, I couldn’t have been happier.

“Mn… I love you, but if you don’t turn that light out, we’re kicking you out of bed.” I hear him grumble from my waist, and I realize I’m not really reading anymore, anyway. Bookmark in its place, I set the book down with my glasses and turn the lamp off. Sinking in bed beside him, I kiss him and he presses into it sleepily.

“I love you, too. Goodnight.”

“Night.”


	7. Cinnabar Moth - Faith

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nobody thought he’d be so faithful to me. He couldn’t imagine being with anyone else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I’ve actually had this typed up for a while… For quite a while, actually. Things have been hectic, to be honest, and I’m finally getting to the point I think I can type again. xD; So I’m going to at least try to get these things typed and posted tonight.

Without fail, Josh and Buddy know when I get home. If I walked in a minute late, I’d get a grumbly Beagle and a clingy boyfriend for the rest of the night. I usually get there right on time, and get plenty of kisses from both, which is nice, especially lately, because I work with Matt, and he’s decided it’s okay to comment on my relationship with Josh.

“He’s such a pervert, though, man.” He tells me, shaking his head as he helps me restock the shelves in the student bookstore, “How do you know he won’t spend his days when you’re in class or at work fucking his way around the block?” He sounds genuinely concerned, but it doesn’t quell the boiling anger in my stomach.

I have to fight the surge of protectiveness down so that I don’t growl when I speak. Nobody gets Josh like I do. They can’t seem to understand that what you see isn’t always what you get with him. Sure, he’s a pervert, but he tells me often how he can’t even begin to imagine fucking anyone else. I’m his one and only and I couldn’t be happier. I finally shoot Matt a pitiless look.

“I just know.” I tell him, and he’s right back to demonizing Josh.

“I doubt he’d tell you, or even be truthful if you asked him. Maybe we should talk to your neighbors--”

“Matt, trust me. He wouldn’t do something like that, okay? I know he seems like this horrible monster to you guys, but he’s hardly a problem when he’s on his meds. Really, you guys are supposed to be his _friends_ , and you treat him like he’ll snap at any moment and wonder why he feels isolated.” Okay, so maybe I went off a little, but I can’t stand it when our ‘friends’ won’t take the time to understand Josh. He isn’t a monster, he’s just ill. And on his medication; it was a major condition for if we were to date or not. It really is night and day, the difference between Medicated Josh and Unmedicated Josh.

Quiet, now, I think Matt gets the point and he doesn’t speak again until we’re ready to close up. He bids me farewell, and I head straight home, heading to my lover’s arms the second I walk through the door.

“Bad day?” Josh murmurs into my hair, holding me close. His hands slide all around my back and sides, as though he might be able to chase all the negativity away with kind enough touches.

“Yeah…” I breathe, burying my face in his neck, taking in his scent and feeling the tension in my body flee, it’s like he flipped a switch. “Matt is so concerned that you’re fucking our neighbors while I’m gone that he thought I should know.”

He pulls my head up to look at him, and his grin is salacious. I feel grabby, large hands slide up the back of my coat and settle on my ass. 

“Nobody else has an ass like yours, Angelfish.” He tells me, voice a deep, husky purr that sets my own blood to boiling. Just as suddenly as it had started, it was gone, and he was taking my coat and scarf and hanging them up so I don’t have to. “But I love you, Chris, really. I wouldn’t do shit like that. Nobody could ever feel as perfect as you do, body and soul.” 

He kisses me, long and slow, hands busy undressing me as we slip to the couch.


	8. Death's-Head Hawkmoth - Suggestion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes JOsh’s power of suggestion landed us in some pretty interesting situations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, had this sitting for a little while. xD But I’m glad I’m finally getting these churned out. I’ve been needing to get things typed up for a while, now. So, while I’m still in the mood to get things done, here’s the next chapter!

Ashley, Sam and Mike sometimes come over to hang out when we all have the time. I think it helps Josh feel more normal to have our friends over, even if he sometimes gets a bit manic. Like he is, now.

“But, _man_ , is Chris sweet. The lilt in his voice brings heat to my cheeks, and I suddenly realize I must have been paying more attention to my phone than him and our company, “Like honey suckle at midnight.”

“ _Dude_!” Mike looks flustered and disgusted, suddenly looking at the couch he’s all cozy on with Sam like it might bite. Of course, Josh never could turn down a challenge.

“Oh, yeah, man. I get Chris all kinds of bent up and laid out on that thing.” Part of me wants to laugh, and the other wants to wipe that smug smirk off his lips. Mostly by kissing it away, and I think he notices. His grin is something between lewd and frenzied when Mike rises, appraising our furniture like he needs to figure out what vaguely comfortable place to sit hasn’t been defiled. “I really love it when he gets to crooning.”

“Josh, uh, T.M.I.” Ashley has never looked so red, even in the cold. She keeps shooting me these sidelong glances, and actually squeaks when he leans over to me and grabs my chin. I can practically see the challenge of ‘cochise’ in his eyes as he leans in and kisses me. I hear an amused snort from Sam, a pitiful little huff from Ashley, and a weak grunt from Mike. We hardly hear them leave with a few apologies from Sam, until the door slams behind Mike.

When Josh finally breaks the soul-searing kiss, I’m panting and he just continues to grin.

“The moan was a nice touch, cochise.” It’s almost become a pet name, by now.

“I… Didn’t know I moaned. You just wrench them out of me.”

“Heh, we’ve never even had sex on the couch… Just cuddles.” He’s laughing, now, and so am I.

“I know, right?”

“Wanna remedy that?” I never could tell him ‘no’.


	9. Gypsy Moth - Allure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He’s a tease and he knows it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh man, this is really special for me. I’ve never actually finished a chapter story I started relatively quickly. It helps that you guys are so supportive. This is the last chapter for this story, but I have several more climbing class fics in store, including a 13 chapter one, and a collab fic/comic with Todd that will be debuting eventually. I hope to see you guys again, soon!

I think he does these things on purpose. He’s been shooting me looks all night, licking pudding out of the cups. I think he’s gone through two packs already, and he hasn’t looked away from me once. Slowly, he swirls his tongue around the plastic cup, and it’s almost all I can take. The glint in his eye tells me he knows that. I don’t think it’s possible for me to be more attracted to him. He finally sets down the last of the third package, and I’m on him between one blink and the next.

He swirls his tongue around my mouth a few times, sharing the strawberry cheesecake flavor graciously, and when we finally pull back, me panting and him smug, he can’t help but crack a grin.

“You wanna go make some bro-angels?” He questions, waggling his eyebrows a few times.

“Hell yeah.” I respond, and he drags me off towards the bedroom.


End file.
